The Midnight Library by Matt

I listened to this book, and I only checked the reviews afterwards. Why do I mention this? Well, the reviews range from "the best book ever" to "total waste of time" and everything in between.

Granted, I could see where it would take us very early on in the story, and it does tend to use clichés and self-help phrases. However, that doesn't make them untrue and the fact is that it makes you think—at least, it made me think.

The protagonist, Nora, is disappointed with how her life has turned out. So much so that she decides suicide by overdose is the way out of her misery.

But instead of finding oblivion, she ends up at the Midnight Library. Within the Midnight Library, Nora is presented with many alternative life paths, each resulting from a different decision she could have made.

The book's narrative revolves around the opportunity to choose a "better" life from a seemingly unlimited catalogue.

Nora has plenty of regrets. She believes things would have turned out so much better if she had acted differently. And, of course, she is correct, but not precisely in the way she imagines. One of my favourite quotes in the book is,

"Sometimes regrets are not based on facts at all: sometimes regrets are a load of bullshit."

Whenever we think, "I should have taken that job, married that person, bought that house, etc.," we assume that one decision starts a process over which we could have had control and, more importantly, that we could accurately predict. "If I had taken that job, I would have been promoted, earned much more money, and had a nice car..." And yes, that could have happened. But also, I could have slipped on the wet stairs one morning on my way to a meeting and knocked my head so hard that I suffered brain damage.

"If I married that person, I would be much happier because everything was perfect." Well, yes, that could have happened. I could also have drowned on my perfect Maldives honeymoon while trying scuba diving.

Am I exaggerating? Sure. But so are we every time we imagine a future much better than our current present by the sheer power of one decision.

Of course, it is normal to have regrets, and many are worth learning from. But perhaps we should not always assume that one decision would have miraculously made our lives perfect.

This brings me to my first takeaway from this book:

Be aware of the illusion of perfection

As Nora explores various alternatives, she realises that each life she steps into has its own problems and unfulfilled desires.

This realisation can be very liberating. Instead of striving for an unattainable ideal, we can focus on doing our best with the life we have.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't aim high or set goals, but we can do so with the understanding that setbacks and imperfections are part of being human.

Nora's journey highlights how seemingly minor decisions can lead to profound life changes. Every choice we make, no matter how small, shapes our path and contributes to our overall life story. Recognising the power of small choices can be empowering. It means we don't need to wait for big, dramatic moments to change our lives. By making mindful, positive decisions every day, we can gradually steer our lives in a more fulfilling direction. Whether it's choosing to exercise, practice gratitude, or connect with loved ones, these small actions can collectively dramatically improve our well-being.

Small choices made over time

create our path

The next pearl of wisdom concerns self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. Throughout the book, Nora grapples with her regrets and feelings of inadequacy. However, as she explores different lives, she learns to forgive herself for past mistakes and accept her imperfections. She realises that some of those "mistakes" happened only in her brain and that the other person didn't consider her responsible.

Part of the journey of self-acceptance involves acknowledging our flaws and mistakes without letting them define us. Yes, we make mistakes, but hating ourselves for them doesn't change what happened. Instead, it only harbours pain without leaving room for growth.

Our mistakes do not define us

Lastly, "The Midnight Library" beautifully illustrates the interconnectedness of lives. Nora’s decisions not only affect her own life but also the lives of those around her. Understanding this interconnectedness can inspire us to act with greater empathy and kindness to create a ripple effect.

Yes, that does sound a little cheesy, but it is true.

That is not to say that we are solely responsible for how others react to our actions, and of course, some consequences are only made clear by the power of hindsight.

So, in summary, Dwelling on our regrets is wasted time, not only because we cannot change anything but because any change we think we wish for has pleasant and unpleasant consequences. Therefore, we should enjoy and appreciate the good things that we currently have in our lives and keep making positive changes where possible.

I enjoyed this book, and the reader made it a very pleasant listen. It also had the bonus of getting deep without feeling heavy.

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