Well, you are reading about this on a website dedicated to mindfulness, so you know where I am going with this one. What you might not know is how. So stick around and find out.
Nurturing our relationships can often take a backseat in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. Months can go by without organising a catch-up with friends. We might be in a rut of chores and responsibilities and never have "date nights" with our partners. And sometimes, we spend more time commenting on our social media friends' posts than talking to them about their holidays.
Yes, life is busy. But we should consider that our relationships influence our mental AND physical health and even how long we live. (Did you know about that? click here to read more)
So, how can we use mindfulness for better relationships?
- By being present and giving our undivided attention to our loved ones. This creates a more profound sense of connection and understanding. So, let's stop thinking about the shopping list when our friends tell us about their weekend away.
- By being able to respond instead of reacting: Learning to observe our thoughts and emotions creates a buffer zone between getting annoyed and exploding in rage. If we can take a breath and answer with humour (yes, sarcasm is allowed), we can de-escalate an argument. It does take two to tango and also to fight. A helpful question is: What would love do?
- By practising empathy and understanding: Mindfulness enhances our capacity for empathy. Putting ourselves in the other's shoes can give us a different perspective. We learn to see the greys and understand nothing is just black or white.
- By cultivating gratitude: No one is perfect, but if we feel and show appreciation to our loved ones for their positive impact on our lives, we both win. They feel good and will do more of the things you appreciate. And, when they do annoy us, we can focus on the positive, take the above-mentioned breath and remain calm (most of the time).
Conclusion: Mindfulness has the potential to revolutionise our relationships.
Actionable Step:
- Get a piece of paper and think about an important person in your life.
- Write down how they improve your life.
- Think of a way to show appreciation or write a thank you note.
For brownie points, do this once a week with a different person. You'll live longer ;-)
Do let me know how it changes your relationships.
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